The Power

I’m essentially a whiny brat. What this truly means is that I reject the notion that I can actually change things for myself. I believe that my situation should simply right itself. That my situation will turn for the better because I deserve it.

The problem with this, beyond the fact that no one is entitled as such, is that no matter who you may be, the only way for change to come is from within. Even if one is awarded a job/position that is based not on merit, but based on connections this persons situation will not have changed. They are where they have begun. I suppose that this is ok for those of us whom actually enjoy where we are, but personally I cannot agree.

I have always wanted a more regimented work schedule, such that my free time would become more prized and therefore better utilized. The classes I take and the apartment where I live have no impact on this, however. If I were to choose differently, my work would be done more efficiently and I would enjoy my time more thoroughly.

But it’s all on me. I have no one to turn to. The idea of the “self-actualized” personality has become less cliche and more an impossibility as I have aged. At least that’s how I have seen it.

Maybe it’s time to throw out the rule book. I just hope I have the will to do it. Especially because I know what needs doing.